i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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