I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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