you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
