I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
