Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He passed out mid-signature
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
