ya dads aren't the best wingmen
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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