I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
