Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
