____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
