ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
