I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
