If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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