Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
