Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
