Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I am naked and annoyed.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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