Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
