I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
