Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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