i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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