Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
