it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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