My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
