I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
