I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
