Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
