girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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