It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm at about main and main street
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
