just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
