why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
