Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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