Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
