Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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