God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
