ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
