We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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