I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
