we made out on top of his cat.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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