new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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