i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
