I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
pray to the hookup gods
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
