I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I AM VODKA MAN
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
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