This is why you have your bachelorette party the week before the wedding instead of the night before. All dildo related injuries have a chance to heal.
go to whole foods and buy arnicare, put it on and the bruise will be mostly gone in the morning, guaranteed. then.. stop doing stupid shit, that should help too.
Just say you were defending your future spouse's honour. Few dildo bruises are recognizable as such. If you're still worried, have someone punch you just in case. Or - better, I think - brazen it out and announce that it was a dildo bruise.
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