you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
