we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
