Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
they need to just BURY HIM!
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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