Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
