I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
