I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
