its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
