everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
my liver is dry heaving
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
