Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
