i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
